Four Girls Later

Hey friends, I know it’s been about a week since you’ve heard from me. I have been chasing my children all over kingdom come. The quote, “my kids are living their best life and I’m their ride” could not be more accurate in this season of my life.

Today, I am going to share with you the single thing that has given me the best opportunity for growth and reflection in the last decade of my life. I know in 2023 we are all about hacks… I am no exception to this. I love a good hack. So my hack for self growth is LINGER.

This idea is 100% not my own. This was introduced to me by one of the single most influential people in my life. Have you ever met the kind of people that you literally just want to drink whatever they’re pouring out and somehow along the way getting to see any bit of their human condition only furthers respect, love, and admiration?!

So my two cents, if you don’t have someone that’s further along in life than you (I’m not talking about age – I’m talking about wisdom, soul care, relationships, growth) make that your mission. Most importantly, pray that the Lord will bring you the right person and then put the intentional work in to develop that relationship. I have had two women now in my life that have changed everything for me and I know it would do the same for you.

Alright linger – more specifically “linger with what provokes you”. A phenomenal book series that I highly recommend is by Sharon Garlough Brown. In the first book, Sensible Shoes she writes, “—the things that annoy, irritate, and disappoint us have just as much power to reveal the truth about ourselves as anything else. Learn to linger with what provokes you. You may just find the Spirit of God moving there.”

This one had my jaw open. I don’t want to linger with the stuff that gets under my skin, with the things that cause me to react in a way I’m not happy with. No, I want to linger with how I feel when walking the beach alone in the morning or the feelings I have while watching my children sleep.

The truth is though… for me personally, those irritants, disappointments, and “wounded” places – those are the places that have brought the most growth.

Before I share an example, have I told y’all I’m a rule follower? Well if I haven’t. I AM.

I’m going to go ahead and just do cliff notes because the details aren’t important.

⁃ We were on a family trip that was suppose to be magical.
⁃ I was using an opportunity to try and teach my children to do the “right” thing.
⁃ I was publicly blasted by a family member.
⁃ I didn’t feel like anyone else in the family ran to my defense to say, “We know her and her heart… surely that wasn’t her intention.”.
⁃ That “magical” trip was greatly overshadowed.

Y’all. I ruminated on this for a year. I tried to make amends. I’ve tried to rationalize. I’ve justified my reaction. I’ve repented for my reaction. My husband’s consoled me about 87 times.

Until one day I prayed. I sat with the Lord and asked him to show me why this particular confrontation was so painful.

“There are times when your slant for “right” causes you to not love others well.”

Ouch.

“The time, place, and wording was wrong.”

Ouch.

“You were deeply hurt because this particular accusation goes against who you know yourself to be.”

Yes.

“Grace upon grace upon grace.”

Not everything has to have a falling out or family quarrel. Sometimes you’re tired. Sometimes you snap at your loved ones. Sometimes you’re overworked. Sometimes you’re out touched and sometimes you just need a little bit of time to recharge… The awesome thing is God can work in those places too. Grace upon grace upon grace. He is renewing us day by day!

Take time today to linger with what provokes you.

Shine your light.

Xoxo,

Sara