Four Girls Later

Today was a day.

Insert deep breath.

We were supposed to go visit my sister and have a birthday party for her at a park in her city. She’s not very far, but most often she makes the effort to visit us… so I try to reciprocate when I can. Apparently it was also the birthday of my daughters doll, Claudie, yesterday. So there’s that.

The other very cool thing about this birthday party is that it was requested to be held at a park. A park where my sister has been walking and creating new health habits for herself. This is everything! My sister has recently taken a stand on her physical health and made some serious life changes… she has also lost a substantial amount of weight. Like the amount of a whole person!! I have always thought she was beautiful and never cared about any number on the scale. However, efforts made to better ourselves should ALWAYS be celebrated, especially when that means one of my girls favorite humans will be healthier.

Ok so we made food, got cupcakes, bought birthday banners, birthday tiaras (Yes, Claudie got one too), and balloons.

Except remember when I told you one of my daughters has been really sick the other day? Well. Now so is the baby. I am talking sick. I also officially now have 3 upcoming surgeries scheduled with ENT. Maybe I can get a referral discount of some kind?

So sick baby = no birthday party.

My sister is disappointed, my baby is sick, and my 3 older girls are crushed. Not to mention there are other people meeting there for the party and I have much of the stuff with me.

Mom friends you know the weight of a cycle of sick children. The exhaustion from lack of sleep and crying babies. The work of orchestrating child care for doctors visits. Waiting rooms with inconsolable children. The emotional toll of worry. The consistent beg for fluid consumption to avoid dehydration when the very last thing they want to do is drink. Adding dirty bedding to the already massive laundry pile.

Now add the weight of disappointment from three beautiful precious girls.

Thats enough to carry.

I have no fresh nuggets of truth today. I’m not sharing any motivating scripture or spiritual discipline. Today was just a great reminder that as humans we are entitled to have big feelings sometimes. We are allowed to experience our emotions as they come. It was also a great reminder to cut our kids a break. Am I the only one that sometimes thinks we hold our children to higher standards than ourselves? We expect self control, cleanliness, kindness, respect for authority, resiliency, and a go with the flow attitude when we sometimes don’t model those very things. How often does our correction to both ourselves and our children come from a place of control?

Friends, “bad moments don’t make bad mamas”. Just like big emotions don’t make you anything but human.

That’s for adults and children.

I’m thinking understanding and grace can go a long way tonight.

Shine your light.

Xoxo,

Sara