Four Girls Later

My third daughter graduated preschool today. After the fun that is summer break, she will take the trek to join her sisters in Elementary school. I can vividly remember dropping my oldest off to kindergarten and hesitantly driving off. If you’ve never had the privilege of doing a school drop off, they are not looking for hesitation. Let me do you a little favor …They are expecting those babies to tuck and roll. Tuck and roll. 

I remember looking at that little girl in the drop off line with a bookbag bigger than her and thinking, “I’m just supposed to leave her here?”.  Looking back, wow did she grow. My now almost double digit baby has grown into the single kindest person I know.  I’ve watched her strive and I’ve watched her struggle. My mantra with her this year has been : there is nothing that is unfigure-out-able. The best part is, we’ve done it together and I’ve had the privilege of having a front row seat to it all. 

I really do believe hindsight is 20/20, too. Although my girls are incredibly different, I’ve got the advantage of having done this a couple times. There are many things this Sara wishes the Sara that was distraught through her eldest daughters prek graduation knew. Probably the single biggest thing is that two things can exist. Motherhood is made up of an array of feelings, coexisting within you.

Speaking of feelings, I have never been a fan of shaming someone into feeling gratitude. For example, we complain about back pain during pregnancy and someone reminds you there are people who would give anything to carry a baby. I believe both things can be true. Both things can exist together. You can be completely undone and overwhelmed with gratitude for a growing life inside you, and still be allowed to express that there are parts about your experience that come with challenges. Friend, in my world, the same is true for preschool graduation. 

Today I say goodbye to an incredible school with teachers that love my child. Today I say goodbye to getting to do daily life with some of my favorite mamas. I grieve the fact that this season of friendship has come to an end. I’m really going to miss afternoons where she gets to be the only big sister home. I long to continue days where we lay in my bed and watch a movie after the big girls go and the baby sleeps. I will cherish every time she wants to crawl into my lap knowing that there will be a time that I won’t hold her. Most of all I cry because it signifies the chapter closing on this season of my life, the baby years with my baby girl. 

Today I am thankful that healthy things grow, and growth means my girl is healthy. Today I’m thankful to have a front row seat at watching the woman she is becoming. I’m looking forward to watching her love of learning explode. I can’t wait to see her truly love her peers.
I am excited about conversations where I can learn her heart and desires.  Most of all, I’m grateful I get to be her mama… through it all. 

Today there are tears for what’s ending and dreams for whats to come. If by chance you find yourself in your first school transition, or your 5th, hang in there. All of those emotions, your heart is big enough to hold them all.

Shine your light. 

Xoxo,

Sara