Four Girls Later

Remember how I said that my desire is to share the very things I am actively learning and walking out? As promised, here it is! 

Summer break is pretty much here!!! You know what that means in my house? Any and all things water related. Considering our summers are incredibly muggy and hot… The water is where you will find us! Pool, lake, beach- we love it all! So what does this mean for me? SWIMSUIT SEASON. 

This term has drastically changed over the years. It used to mean bikinis and floating down the river or driving through the night to stay at Carolina Beach.  Now, it’s the cooler packed with sandwiches and honest kids, mineral sunscreen, and oodles and oodles of the sweetest little bathing suits. 

Like I mentioned previously, I’ve never been one to buy into shaming someone for the purpose of gratitude. So, this is not a post about how blessed we are to have grown beautiful children. This is not a post about how every stretch mark should be met with joy. We can live in the both. 

The reality is though, my body looks different than it used to. Very easily I can find myself in the comparison of what was game. How easy it is to vocalize, “My loose skin is gross” or, “Delete that picture, I look so fat”. What happens when little ears are listening? 

To your child, you are beautiful. When you criticize yourself; lets say you have ears that you think are huge, your child is not going to look at you and think, “she does have big ears.”. In fact, your beautiful child, the one that thinks you hung the moon, will suddenly wonder, “Are my ears big?”. Each time you criticize yourself, you are literally creating a lens from which your child will begin to view themselves. You might not see it right away, but little by little overtime this critical lens will become their own. The critical lens reenforced actually becomes a neuropathway that will become your child’s default, the very fiber of the way they view themselves.

If at this point you are reading and thinking, holy cow I have really messed up. This is not a place for guilt and shame. I am the biggest believer in the power of love and forgiveness.

So what am I thinking we should do about it? No, I don’t believe in delusional thinking or painting a false reality. Truth is, often our bodies are not perfect, or even healthy. But it’s what we do about that, that really matters. Do we criticize ourselves and miss out on memories because of this? 

Step one. Put the freaking swimsuit on and just do it. Sometimes loving the skin you’re in is an insurmountable task. So this is when you have to cognitively put yourself into perspective. We get 18 summers with our kids. 18 of these perfectly-imperfect humid sweaty-sticky seasons. I, for one, do not want to look back and feel like I missed it because I didn’t have the confidence needed to get in a suit. 

Step two. Prioritize your health, whatever that means for you. It can be taking a walk, getting help with your disordered eating, drinking more water, or any and everything that will help you body, mind, and soul. Remember one day, on top of another on top of another, is how habits are made.  

Step three. Repeat. 

The present is a gift. Show up for your kids, show up for those you love, especially… show up for you. 

Shine your light. 

Xoxo, 

Sara