Four Girls Later

This one goes out to mothers that have school aged daughters. Although, you know what? It might be entirely possible that this just resonates for me. It could very well be that I just am writing to get my feelings out. It seems to be that’s the case these days, so much so that my writing never makes it on my blog or on any public platform. It’s as if I’m writing to literally unravel the words as they spin through my head. I imagine a tornado of such being untangled from the weave of confusion as I put words on paper. 

I think the thing I’m learning this year that I never really realized, is that anytime I experienced difficulty, it was quite possibly harder on my mom than it was on me. I didn’t realize for all those nights that I laid awake with the struggles that life inevitably brings, chances are my mom was upstairs in her bedroom doing the exact same thing. If my heart was broken, so was hers. If I was swimming in confusion, so was she. If I was second guessing myself and my choices, she was most likely second guessing hers. 

Within the last few weeks, I think it’s safe to say that every female in my house has either had their feelings hurt, been offended, or been completely unsure regarding friendships. I will be the first to confess that I have ruminated over opinions said about me or assumptions made. I’m not going to share what my girls are going through because that’s their story, but it’s safe to say relationships are challenging. Do we have a part to play in all of these challenges? Of course. We are sinful people just doing our very best to love others. Do I think we’re knocking it out of the park every single time? No. I sure think we’re trying though. 

Friendships, whether you’re a two-year-old toddler, a sweet little kinder, an eight-year-old second grader, a tween attempting to make your way into the world, or you guessed it, a 35-year-old stay at home mom… are hard. Friendships are hard.

You know what I realized is not hard though? Reveling in a safe haven that is our home. That is what we can control. When the door shuts behind us, at home we are safe. Safe to make mistakes, safe to be goofy, safe to say what’s really on our heart, safe to be together. I am not raising an in your room kind of family. Yes, I value privacy and alone time, but my kids don’t get home and run to their rooms. Although it’s not always easy, 90% of the time, whatever room I find myself in, the girls are in that same room. I actually took a picture this morning because I was on the ground filling book bags, and as I looked up three of my girls were sitting right in front of me in a semicircle. 

I say all of this to say I had the revelation this morning that this life, I’m holding their hand through it even when it’s hard. Sometimes I find myself leading, and sometimes I find myself falling back and allowing them to lead. Most often though, we are together. When they go to school and had an awesome day, they run to my car to share it with me. When things aren’t as awesome for them, they wait until we’re inside our four walls and open up their hearts. Mama, your home is their safe place. YOU are their safe place. Whatever decisions you’re trying to make regarding helping them with social anxieties, peers, school options, or whatever other choice you need to make. They just want you to walk with them through it all. So make the decisions. You’ll probably get some right and some wrong along the way. Do you know what really matters in those choices though? You. You walking with them through life. Hand-in-hand, side-by-side. 

You’re doing better than you think you are. 

Shine your light. 

Xoxo, 

Sara