For the past two years I have emphatically said that I want to be a yes person. I’m pretty sure that anyone that has had access to my heart, would say they’ve heard that desire articulated.
So, what is a yes person? I’m not even sure that words defining it suite it nearly as well as people who embody it. In fact, without even flinching, I can think of three very distinct people in my life that are what I would define as “yes people”. I would venture to say there are probably names that rise to the top for you too.
There is a concert coming up, want to go? “Yes.”
Want to join this bible study? “Yes.”
Can you help me with a random Wednesday chore? “Yes.”
Birthday parties, random dinners, holiday events? “Yes, yes, yes.”
I could go into how even these women, yes the “yes ones”, reach a threshold where they will no longer hold valuable a yes. I’m not sure at what point the shift happens, but in my experience, it’s somewhere along the line of you not reciprocating an utterance of yes. Although friends, that’s a story for another day and quite possibly not my story as I’ve been more on the receiving end of that.
Back to the yes people, they are really social and overwhelmingly fun. All women that I admire and hold in incredibly high regard. I would say they are extremely extroverted and thrive in both spontaneity and hospitality. In fact, as I say that, spontaneity and hospitality are so tightly woven in my mother’s identity, too. A mother that I admire, aspire to be like, and love emphatically.
No wonder I’ve desired to be a yes person.
So it seems like my social calendar would be over flowing with activities. And yet, the more I desire to be a yes person, the more I find myself saying “no”.
I value the moms in prayer group. I want to walk on Thursdays with a dear friend. I miss someone that I used to have a natural rhythm with. There are new ladies that I would love to get to know better. This group sounds awesome. Coffee with her sounds amazing. I want to partner with her on this.
All of these things I want to say yes to.
I also want to be present for my children. I want to get up early to seek the face of Jesus. I want to cook nutritious meals for my family. I want to continue talking to my mom every day at 7:30am. I want to prioritize moving my body. I want to banter (for better or worse) with my sister every day. I want to prioritize serving the people in my life that love on my kids. I want to not be completely spent by the time my husband and I cross paths in the evenings. I want a cleanly home that I’m proud of.
Friends, this is a lot of yes.
And you know what, my capacity isn’t as much as the yes women listed above. Or if I’m really honest with myself, my own mothers. AND THAT IS OK. Part of this is why taking your time to figure out how you’re wired is vitally important. If you’re not careful you’ll find yourself trying to live out someone else’s life.
So I still want to be a yes person, I just didn’t have the whole sentence. “I want to be a person that says yes to the right things for me.”
A yes to something is always a no to something else and good things aren’t always the best thing.
So if I say no to this bible study, I pray blessings over it for you and hope to be considered for the next. This week is full of activity, can we actually get that coffee next week? Oh, dinner would be great – what a perfect opportunity for our girls to get daddy time! I actually don’t have the bandwidth for anything outside of the house right now, want to just come over even though it doesn’t look perfect?
I am finding myself saying no more, so that I can say yes more. Yes to my husband. Yes to my kids. Yes to my family. Yes to my friends. Yes to myself.
Friends, I hope you boldly find the right things to say yes to for you and your family in this season.
Shine your light.
Xoxo,
Sara
Four Girls Later 