This new season of life has been full of intimate beautiful time in my marriage. This story was such a palpable example of how years of growing, separately, but together can evolve and I so wanted to share it. As you emerge from that beautiful but extremely challenging cloud of postpartum, there is life on the other side… and it is incredible! I know you can’t see it now because the idea of not having your babies be little is all consuming, and really that’s a gift, but you’ll just have to trust me. More on this later because I have such a heart for that season, but I’m crunched for time and I really want to get this down.
So my daughter had a birthday party to go to this weekend and it was the perfect opportunity for my husband and I to spend some time away together. My other girls spent the day adventuring with my sweet mom, and off we went. Where did we go? Whole Foods. Let’s just get this out, I’m officially day dating at Whole Foods. Let me clarify, this is my ideal date, too… and while im at it, I’ve become the kind of person that buys specialty bird food to attract certain ones and then gasps in excitement when they are on my feeder.
I should also say some might think I’m a bleeding heart, you know the one that gives to strangers regardless of what they’re going to do with it because she believes that all humans deserve dignity. This is controversial I know, but at the end of the day I’m accountable for my life not someone else’s and if I ever had enough to fill someone’s empty belly and didn’t, can I really justify saying because they’re (insert what you will)… they don’t get to make that choice for themselves. I know my sister is shouting at me through the screen right now, and as an advocate for those in mental health crisis I realize that so qualifies her to speak, but y’all the older I get… all I can do is follow my heart on that.
I really think it just boils down to wanting to really SEE people. Each woman is someone’s daughter. Everyone has value and I really believe we can add so much to each other’s life even with small encounters.
Ok so small encounters – huge value.
After absolute food bliss, to include the best vegan croissants you ever laid eyes on… we went to check out. The cashier and I made small talk about over indulging in pastries and my new desire to find something that comes close to replicating our palate experiences of Europe… I’m including two of my favorite pictures of said palate experience below.
But you know what then happened, I looked at this woman and really saw her. She was stunning, the kind of beauty that comes from enduring hardship and overcoming. I just began to feel so much love and awe for her. My husband then asked her where she was from, knowing him he was probably genuinely curious based on her dialect of country of origin. She began to cry and said that she didn’t even feel safe sharing that information anymore. What followed still leaves me with butterflies. My husband began speaking to her in her native language and shared about his travels and family of origin from a similar area. The walls that separated us fell down like boulders. I’m pretty sure I could actually hear them hitting the ground. We got to share our desires for safety for all children. She left me feeling hopeful that something beautiful will somehow come from all the destruction. We then shared about our daughters and she gave me advice about treating them as the wisest kindest souls to ever live. I got to tell her how beautiful she was and what a blessing our interaction had on me. I love this woman. Not in a flippant sense of the word either, I want so much beauty and good for her. I somehow feel like our paths will cross again, and I’m having to physically stop myself from driving up there today to force it verses organically letting them intertwine. I couldn’t tell you if anyone was beside us or behind us, all I saw was her.
As I’ve been growing in love and life experience, so too has my husband. And aside from feeling like he was the most attractive he’s ever been to me as he broke that sweet woman’s defenses with familiarity and compassion, I realized I would have never gotten to share with her in motherhood. I could have never gotten to tell her that she in her entirety was so very beautiful. Oh how our small conversation meant so much to me. How her light was shining.
Shine yours, sweet friend.
Xoxo,
Sara
Four Girls Later 