Four Girls Later

* Please hear that I am steeped in a family that validates and supports mental health. My sister is a licensed therapist and the Director of a facility-based crisis center. My parents are longtime therapeutic foster parents. My mom is a family partner liaison for those transitioning to lower levels of care. If you are struggling with your mental health, please talk to your doctor. *

I am lucky enough to have four unique incredible daughters that I am imperfectly parenting. I have found that lately our routine hasn’t been working. I feel like I’m repeating myself often and raising my voice more than I’d like. In an effort to be more effective I sat down and began to ponder what, in this season, is motivating my girls. It is no surprise that they are all motivated differently.

I for one, am a person that is very motivated by truth. What I’m really saying here is that I am motivated by a little fear. To me, we live in a fallen world, love sinful people, and live in the frailty of a human frame. So here’s where ultimately fear motivates.

In my 30s, I am far more cognizant of the human condition. I have made efforts to move my body more and eat healthier. Why? Because I want to live a full and healthy life.

What is the opposite of this truth?

I don’t want to die early. There’s the fear.

My husband and I are also making financial plans for our future to include savings, retirement, and life insurance so that we will both have the funds needed when the time comes.

What is the opposite of this truth?

If we don’t plan appropriately we will be in a deficit and become a burden to our children.

We have certain family rules put in place regarding my children: 1. We do not nickname our body parts – we use the correct anatomical terms. 2. My children are not forced to show affection. 3. No sleepovers. 4. We openly discuss boundaries with regard to others very early. Why? As an effort to protect my children from sexual abuse.

What is the opposite of this truth?

If I don’t, they are more vulnerable to be abused.

So this is what I consider a little bit of informed fear. However, this can easily turn into fear over unpredictable outcomes or fear that I haven’t done enough. That fear officially becomes situational anxiety.

What is the opposite of anxiety?

Calm?

No, TRUST.

Trust. This is where I am left in the gap of who I say God is and who I really believe Him to be. Do I really believe that He is working all things for my good? Do I really believe that miracles happen? Do I really believe that God is capable of anything? Do I really believe that He is redeeming and making all things new, whether this side of eternity or the other?

Friends, cerebrally I do. However, my soul doesn’t always follow. This is where I have to tell my soul that we can trust. I can trust that the God who made me loves me and is holding all of it in the palm of His hand.

Lately, when I find myself in a cycle of worry, reading Psalm 103 or listening to Shane & Shane sing Hallelujahs Song (Psalm 103) centers me. The commanding of our soul to bless the Lord reminds me of exactly who I know God to be. A God that sees. A God that hears. A God that saves.

He’s holding me, and holding you too.

Shine your light.

Xoxo,

Sara