Four Girls Later

Yesterday was one of the days beautiful memories are made of. It was a day social media post worthy. We made it to the early service on Easter morning with plenty of time to spare. We showed up in lavender and sage coordinating outfits. Coordinating, not matching. I’ve learned with 4 daughters, as they age, matching exactly doesn’t work. We sang songs of worship together, we read the resurrection story, we laughed with friends and family. We hunted eggs. We had beautifully curated baskets. We ate an incredible meal my mom prepared and then we shared around the table something we are thankful for that God is doing in our lives. The day is one I would say was marked with immeasurable joy. 

He is risen. Hallelujah indeed. 

It’s officially 4pm on the Monday after Easter and I’ve yet to shower or even wash yesterdays makeup off my face. I had a todo list a mile long and instead I’ve found myself marinating in negativity. We recently stayed in the cutest airbnb and the host of the cabin reviewed us as “just ok”. We reached out to the cabin hostess and she informed us someone had put a frozen bandaid on one of the poles upstairs, there was a cough drop in the bed my daughter slept in, and there was butter in the microwave… I had no recollection of opening the microwave or purchasing butter. Y’all, this offended me. The truth is… it was oversight on my part. I should have shaken the bed out. I should have seen the bandaid. When cleaning the kitchen, I could have easily opened that microwave door and wiped it. We offered to pay for a deep clean, to which the response was that it wasn’t that big of a deal. Full transparency, I may not have said it, but it caused a shift in my internal being that was straight sin. 

Fast forward later in the afternoon. I had my cruise control set for 15 on our winding 25 MPH road. It’s a beautiful spring day and it’s one that families were out enjoying the weather. An older gentleman threw his hands up in the air as I drove by and screamed that I slow down.  I may have only said it in my head but that was straight sin. 

I got home and called to reschedule my daughter’s dentist appointment that she missed due to being in the hospital. Apparently because I cancelled the appointment within 24 hours, she is now on “red status”. I asked what that even means, and you know what… I’m not sure what it means. I didn’t quiet my thoughts long enough to hear. Instead I was preparing my response to explain what medical crisis I was dealing with. 

I wasn’t early anywhere. I wasn’t dressed in an outfit worthy of social media. My families dinner tonight is most likely takeout because I just don’t feel like cooking.  

And yet, Jesus died for this Sara. The Sara that was insecure about someone perceiving her as not “perfect”, the easily offended Sara. The one that spent most of her day irritated, disheveled, and late. He didn’t love me more yesterday and less today. He is saving every piece of me, every single day.

Yesterday I was full of immeasurable joy. Today, I’m reminding my fallible soul that I am full of immeasurable joy. 

He is risen. Hallelujah indeed.