Four Girls Later

Hey sweet friends. This summer I was navigating buying a house, moving into said house, selling a house, a new school, life challenges, ongoing health concerns with my 3rd daughter, family loss, all during a deployment… this mama has been treading water. You know what though, I’m growing – because I’m unapologetic these days about this. If you’ve been in a season where all you’ve had left to give is to those people in your life you’ve given birth to, that’s okay! You’re exactly where you’re supposed to be, it won’t be like this forever, the pendulum will in fact swing back. 

I wish we had time to share with each other the memories that rise to the top in spite of life being “hard”. I would listen eagerly and then share with you that my oldest and I have gotten closer in a new very cool way – she’s growing right before my eyes and I absolutely adore the young woman she’s becoming. Number 2 has been incredibly brave trying new things and navigating who she is in the world. I’ve watched as she’s found things that no longer serve her and things she enjoys, and what a joy for my soul. Number 3, my sweet sweet fiery girl has been showing me just how deeply she sees others. My youngests ability to talk has exponentially exploded and learning who she is in a deeper way is the most exciting thing. This summer was not lost. No time spent with your kids is. 

How in the world are you?! It’s been a while. This was always meant to be from the overflow of my life, what I was learning or where I was deficient. In this last season, I would say overflow did not exist. One of the next legs of the journey for me is to walk out being transparent and vulnerable WHILE just being, but we’re not quite there yet. I digress. 

So here’s the overflow for me. 

I cannot carry the opinions of others. 

This is not only reserved for the gossipers in your life, that family member that can be cruel, the negative ones, the ones that don’t have the same values as you. No, this is reserved for even the well intentioned, loving, well meaning ones. I am even talking about when we go looking for help and want guidance from wise counsel. I’m talking about those whom you value their words and they speak with real weight into your life… Can you weigh the opinions of those that matter? Of course, but weigh it and then set it DOWN. 

In light of any new information brought to the table, now decide how to proceed with that information, not their opinion. 

One of my dear friends, Rebecca, walked me through an exercise where I was supposed to present something vulnerable in an auditorium full of people. In that imaginative exercise, I felt nervous. How exactly would I say this to check all the boxes?! Which for me, means thinking of every deficit or critique that could happen so I can address it and mitigate before they do. 

Then she told me to actually look up and see that there was only one seat in that auditorium. ONE SEAT. There is one opinion that really matters. There is one single person that speaks into my life and I never set those words down. Jesus.

Proverbs says the fear of man lays a snare, one translation says “the fear of human opinion disables”. But back to the snare, this isn’t just any trap friends… it’s a wire noose. Snare traps kill by strangulation, the exact method happens almost always when the animal is struggling to free itself. 

I love wise counsel. I love surrounding myself with women that bring different perspectives. I love how much I can learn from how people do things differently than me. Still, to live and do or not do things because I’m afraid of what someone will think? Or say? Or the opinion they will have over me… that’s a no. 

We live to fear, please, and hold the opinion of ONE. 

May it be so in my life and if you want that kind of freedom, may it be so in yours too. 

Shine your light. 

Xoxo, 

Sara